http://archure.net/psychology/bullies.html
WHAT TO DO ABOUT BULLIES? Victims....
1) RECORD WHAT HAPPENED
2) TELL SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST
3) DECIDE ON A PLAN OF ACTION
4) KNOW YOUR RIGHTS, AND TELL OTHERS ABOUT THEM
5) TAKES STEPS TO REBUILD YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
"THE BULLYING CULTURE" by Ruth Hadikin & Muriel O'Driscoll BF 637 B85 H33 2000
"Those who can, do.~ Those who can't, bully".
www.bullyonline.org
also see:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Workplace_bullying
I found www.bullyonline.org thru a wikipedia article, since that time some of the www.bullyonline.org format has changed and the links no longer directly go to the quotes, not certain if the quotes are still there, but they were (the bullies took them?)
"Aggression: Buss (1961)[4] identified eight types of aggression:
- Verbal-passive-indirect (failure to deny false rumors about target, failure to provide information needed by target)
- Verbal-passive-direct ("silent treatment", failure to return communication, i.e. phone calls, e-mails)
- Verbal-active-indirect (spreading false rumors, belittling ideas or work)
- Verbal-active-direct (insulting, acting condescendingly, yelling)
- Physical-passive-indirect (causing others to create a delay for the target)
- Physical-passive-direct (reducing target's ability to contribute, i.e. scheduling them to present at the end of the day where fewer people will be attending)
- Physical-active-indirect (theft, destruction of property, unnecessary consumption of resources needed by the target)
- Physical-active-direct (physical attack, nonverbal, vulgar gestures directed at the target)
In a study performed by Baron and Neuman,[5] researchers found pay cuts and pay freezes, use of part-time employees, change in management, increased diversity, computer monitoring of employee performance, reengineering, and budget cuts were all significantly linked to increased workplace aggression. The study also showed a substantial amount of evidence linking unpleasant physical conditions (high temperature, poor lighting) and high negative affect, which facilitates workplace aggression.[6]"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Workplace_violence#Aggression
SEE: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Workplace_bullying
http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/bully.htm#Why
The bully selects their target using the following criteria:
- bullies are predatory and opportunistic - you just happen to be in the wrong place at
the wrong time; this is always the main reason - investigation will reveal a string of
predecessors, and you will have a string of successors
- being good at your job, often excelling
- being popular with people (colleagues, customers, clients, pupils, parents, patients,
etc)
- more than anything else, the bully fears exposure of his/her inadequacy and
incompetence; your presence, popularity and competence unknowingly and unwittingly fuel
that fear
- being the expert and the person to whom others come for advice, either personal or
professional (ie you get more attention than the bully)
- having a well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise
- having a strong sense of integrity (bullies despise integrity, for they
have none, and seem compelled to destroy anyone who has integrity)
- having at least one vulnerability
that can be exploited
- being too old or too expensive (usually both)
- refusing to join an established clique
- showing independence of thought or deed
- refusing to become a corporate clone and drone
I recently was unduely bullied around by Aiport Security (leaving Orange County CA, same as last year) and reported it to http://www.tsa.gov/public/contactus as well as DOT (Dept of Transportation) and the FAA (Federal Aviation Admin). The phone company (without my permission) told my long distance carries to take a hike and then charged me $3/min for one month, I told the Public Utillities Commission and they got me a credit (and I am back with my long distance carrier). I report Abuse to Animals to PETA.org who will help you find the appropriet people to contact in your area, they have a list of government agencies. Great web link to find Federal Agencies The Federal Web Locator (it moves around, search for Federal Web Locator)
With all the daily incompetencies & blastphamies, we all could write all day every day.
Another Book
"ADULT BULLYING" by Randall BF 637 B85 R36 1997
Talks about....
Women spreading rumors to cause grief, Bullies in the work place, sexual harassment, humiliation, joking of others at others expense, child bullies, etc
I don’t like Bullies.
And I try to not be a bully.
My Motto: “Don’t Be Bullied; Don’t Be A Bully”
I was bullied as a kid, but fortunately grew up to be a tall person. But still, bullies persist, on the road, in the streets, in stores, schools, in the work place, families, social groups, even in (especially in) church, and where ever you go, there is a bully just waiting to pick on you and or anyone else. Some people are unaware of it, as such behavior is common place. I hate bullies. I think its a major problem, world wide.
America is a Bully, we go declaring war in Viet Nam, Korea, Iraq (then Iraq again 10 years later).
So when I went to the UNLV Library today 2006.03.22, and was browsing thru the B” stacks (Psychology), I was pleased to find several books on “BULLIES”, and am researching/reading and will add more real soon.
First I was surprised to hear that my own joking around (belittling someone) is a form of Bullying. I hate bullies, and here I caught myself being a bully. I am sorry. But in general, I try to avoid being a bully, and see everyone as equals (including animals, I am an animal rights activist).
One of the books stated and example of someone making a threatening hitting gesture, and another of one pounding on the table (someone I worked with briefly used to pound the table, and he was a bully). One book dealt with Child Bullies, and was discussing people who smash into one another while walking around, and I get that continually from adults (and children) while in hotel casinos (high density populated areas such as hotel casinos or the streets of NY City are areas of Stress). People claim territorial space such as the entire walkway for them and their friends, by spreading their group out so that no one may pass, and if you try, they look the other way, pretending to not see you, and smash into you. Child bullies block the walkway by running in front of you wildly waving their arms, swinging them around, threatening my male genitalia (and they know what they are doing). WHY? POWER.
So when I walk past a group with wild kids I defend my male genitalia with my arm outstretched as I walk past. And as for the adults who smash into me even though I stay over to the far side (Larson), I usually stop just before they collide with me; and I am into health foods and am a big guy, so I usually don't get seriously hurt. And I try to not smash into people. But then, there are
LITTLE BULLIES (you know the type). I am walking along, they wait, then at the last second jump right in front of me, then slow down, trying to get me to bump into them.
WOMEN BULLY MEN AROUND, always have. Just like little people. Men do something (anything) and women make a Gasping Sound ("inhaling" while using the vocal chords), the Trump Card. So, I have been doing that to women. When they do some trivia, I do a Gasp, the Trump Card.
There are BULLIES of All Ages, Genders, Races, Creeds, Lifestyles, Political Parties, in all areas of the Earth.
Mankind is the most dangerous creature on the planet, destroying Nature, forcing animal species into extinction, destroying the Ozone, deforesting equatorial rainforests, and even destroying ourselves with war.
Astrologically: the charts of Bullies typically have a strong Mars, and squares to Mars (a square is a 90 angle from another planet, for instance, someone with Mars in Aries, with his Moon in Cancer (that's 90 degrees away), is bound to have a stronger tendency to be a bully.
I THINK: there is probably more bullies at lower level IQ scores, because, everyone has them out-smarted, what else can they do, but stand up for themselves, in a world already filled with bullies, and they get in the habit. I also have heard lots of evidence to support that eating meat creates aggression (already in my other web articles), and lack of neuro-transmitters such as "Serotonin" do cause violent moods.
BANANAS AND NEURO TRANSMITTERS TO THE RESCUE: Fortunately, Bananas have Serotonin" and "L-Dopamine" (essential neuro-transmitters), as well as B-6 (lack of which causes depression). "5HTP" is an over the counter pill which supplies "Serotonin", and St Johns Wort (herb in pill capsules at health food stores), in large dosages daily, helps your body use the Serotonin you consume (almonds, and tofu, also contain serotonin). Once one takes Serotonin supplements or foods, and takes St Johns Wort daily, for a couple of months, the person has a more calm personality.
One of the books discusses a case study of school kid bullying, reduced by around 50%, by asking teachers to ignore bullies (unless it gets serious), and instead, focus praise for good behavior.
WHAT IF YOU ARE A BULLY?
"THE BULLYING CULTURE" says that we are all guilty of verbal bulling at some point or another, and suggests an apology helps clear things up (and works quick), it lets everyone know that you are aware of your mistakes and are working on it, and it also lets the victim know that its nothing personal and/or that at least you do not intend to continue. The book also suggests books on self help, and stress management (B Vitamins, 100 mg to 300 mg range per day, helps with stress), and one can also see a Psychologist (for a cure or preventative maintenance, or just good help planning).
KARMA: I personally believe in "what goes around, comes around" (regardless of help or no help, karma is like magic).
There are more bullies in the world than most people realize. But if you want to observe it in action, just go to any crowded public place, and watch people in action.
MY MOTTO:
"Dont be a bully, Don't be bullied" (be a vegetarian vegan and you wont bully animals any longer (you too are an animal, homo-Sapiens, in the anthropological "great ape" category)).
WIKIPEDIA QUOTES:
WIKIPEDIA ON BULLYINGhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying
www.en.wikipedia.org has articles on Bullying, Workplace Bullying, Mobbing, etc
Previous Link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullies
WIKIPEDIA says on Bullying (Workplace)
According to the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute,[12] workplace bullying is "the repeated mistreatment of one employee targeted by one or more employees with a malicious mix of humiliation, intimidation and sabotage of performance." Statistics show that bullying is 3 times as prevalent as illegal discrimination and at least 1,600 times as prevalent as workplace violence. Statistics also show that while only one employee in every 10,000 becomes a victim of workplace violence, one in six experiences bullying at work. Bullying is also far more common than sexual harassment and verbal abuse.
Unlike the more physical form of schoolyard bullying, workplace bullying often takes place within the established rules and policies of the organization and society. Such actions are not necessarily illegal and may not even be against the firm's regulations; however, the damage to the targeted employee and to workplace morale is obvious.
Particularly when perpetrated by a group, workplace bullying is sometimes known as mobbing.
SHOCKER!
WIKIPEDIA.org at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Workplace_bullying says....
In terms of gender, more than half of all bullies are female (58%), with the vast majority of bullying targets also being women (80%) (I didn't realize women were so treacherous)
WIKIPEDIA.org at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobbing says.....
In the book MOBBING: Emotional Abuse in the American Workplace, the authors claim that mobbing is typically found in work environments that have poorly organized production and/or working methods and incapable or inattentive management and that mobbing victims are usually "exceptional individuals who demonstrated intelligence, competence, creativity, integrity, accomplishment and dedication".[1]:
Though the English word mob denotes a crowd, often in a destructive or hostile mood, the German and several other European languages have adopted mobbing as a loanword to describe all forms of bullying including that by single persons. The resultant German verb mobben can also be used for physical attacks, calumny against schoolteachers on the internet and intimidation by superiors, with an emphasis on the victims' continuous fear rather than the perpetrators' will to exclude them. The word may thus be a false friend in translation back into English, where mobbing in its primary sense denotes a disorderly gathering by a crowd and in workplace psychology narrowly refers to "ganging up" by others to harass and intimidate an individual.
Wikipedia.org on Sexual Harrasment at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sexual_harrassment
One of the Wikipedia articles on Bullying linked to bullyonline.org http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/bully.htm#Why
1) How do bullies select their targets?
The bully selects their target using the following criteria:
bullies are predatory and opportunistic - you just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time; this is always the main reason - investigation will reveal a string of predecessors, and you will have a string of successors
being good at your job, often excelling
being popular with people (colleagues, customers, clients, pupils, parents, patients, etc)
more than anything else, the bully fears exposure of his/her inadequacy and incompetence; your presence, popularity and competence unknowingly and unwittingly fuel that fear
being the expert and the person to whom others come for advice, either personal or professional (ie you get more attention than the bully)
having a well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise
having a strong sense of integrity (bullies despise integrity, for they have none, and seem compelled to destroy anyone who has integrity)
having at least one vulnerability that can be exploited
being too old or too expensive (usually both)
refusing to join an established clique
showing independence of thought or deed
refusing to become a corporate clone and drone
http://www.bullyonline.org/
"Those who can, do.
Those who can't, bully.
Detailed profile of the serial bully (1 in 30 persons is a Serial Bully)
The serial bully also:
- is selfish and acts out of self-interest, self-aggrandisement and self-preservation at
all times; everything can be traced back to the self - even the seemingly innocuous "How
are you today?" translates to "Is there any comeback on me as to how
you're feeling today?"
- is insensitive, often callously indifferent to the needs of others, and especially when
others are experiencing difficulty (vulnerability is a major stimulant to the serial bully)
- is incapable of reciprocity, ie unable and unwilling to reciprocate any positive gesture
- sees anyone attempting to be conciliatory as a sucker to be exploited
- uses criticism, humiliation, etc in the guise of addressing shortfalls in performance -
in reality, these are for control and subjugation, not for performance enhancement
- appears to be intelligent but often performs poorly in academic or professional roles,
despite appearances; the intelligence is focused exclusively on deviousness, cunning,
scheming, manipulation, evasiveness, deceptiveness, quick-wittedness, craftiness,
self-centredness, etc
- may be passive aggressive, blowing hot and cold, superficially cooperative
but motivated by retribution, stubborn, uncoachable, use their intelligence
to excuse and justify their behaviour, and they detest anyone more competent
than themselves - which is most people
- is unable to maintain confidentiality, often breaching it with
misrepresentation, distortion and fabrication
- distorts, twists, concocts and fabricates criticisms and allegations, and abuses the
disciplinary procedures - again, for control and subjugation, not for performance
enhancement
- uses gossip, back-stabbing or spreads rumours to undermine, discredit and isolate
- is untrustworthy and unable to trust others - this partly explains the compulsion for
excessive monitoring
- is drawn to positions of power and abuses that power
- alters the employer's procedures to make it difficult or impossible for
others to hold the bully accountable using those procedures
- is autocratic and dictatorial, often using phrases like "you shouldn't..." or
"you ought to..."
- may appear superficially competent and professional at their job, but behind the facade
is inadequate, inept, poor at their job, often incompetent; survives only by plagiarising
other people's work, and being carried by those they bully
- wraps himself or herself in a flag or tradition and usurps others' objectives, thereby
nurturing compliance, reverence, deference, endorsement and obeisance; however, such
veneration and allegiance is divisive, being a corruption for personal power which
exhibits itself through the establishment of a clique, coterie, cabal, faction, or gang
- is a divisive and disruptive influence, their departments are dysfunctional and
inefficient, and their behavior prevents staff from performing their duties
- is unusually susceptible to minor slights or perceived slights and bears grudges which
may be acted on years later when the transgressor can be denied promotion or downsized in
the bully's "reorganisation"
- gains gratification from provoking people into emotional or irrational responses but is
quick to claim provocation by others when challenged
- has a short-term focus and often cannot think or plan ahead more than 24 hours
- appears to have a short, selective memory and often cannot or will not remember what
they said, did, or committed to more than 24 hours ago - but is always able to remember
your faults, often from years ago
- the serial bully seems to live in a bubble of the present and when challenged will
spontaneously make things up; the bully genuinely seems to believe the fabrication; from a
psychiatric viewpoint this could be called confabulation; from a moral viewpoint, it's
called lying
- is often like a child who has never grown up
- exhibits immature behaviour and poor manners
- has poor communication skills, poor interpersonal skills, poor social skills
- often misses social cues
- has poor language skills, and uses almost exclusively negative language with few or no
positive words; is often limited to parroting fad phrases and regurgitating the latest
management jargon
- has poorly-defined moral and ethical boundaries
- acts out of gratification and self-interest only, often using and hiding behind the employer
- extrovert bullies tend to be shouters and screamers, are highly visible, and bully from the front
- extrovert bullies can be charismatic and seem to be able to bewitch people into
following and supporting them
- introvert bullies - the most dangerous types - tend to sit in the background and recruit
others to do the bullying for them - when dealing with this type of bullying, identify the
arch-bully in the background and focus single-mindedly on that person - the others will melt away
- is a killjoy, a wet blanket, is unreceptive and finds fault with or pours scorn on other
people's ideas and suggestions, but may regurgitate them later claiming to be the originator
- often has a hatred of a sector of society, eg ethnic minorities, disabled people, etc
- often has a hatred of certain professional groups, eg psychologists, psychiatrists,
social workers, counsellors, therapists
- is unimaginative and lacks the skills of creativity and innovation
- rarely has any ideas of his or her own; tends to regurgitate what others (especially
superiors) say rather than use own thinking
- is a plagiarist, steals other people's work - and the credit for it
- has a writing style that is disjointed, lacks flow and consistency, tends to make
contradictory statements, and has the feel of a young teenager trying to write like a
grown-up (apologies to teenagers)
- often uses false praise or praise which is inappropriate to the circumstances; this is
partly to make the bully feel good, partly for the benefit of witnesses, partly poor
judgement, partly immaturity, and partly for control and subjugation to throw their target
off guard
- is unable and unwilling to value others and their contributions and achievements; is
often scornful
- shows discrepancy in valuing tasks, deliberately devaluing the work and achievements of
others; when the bully does a certain job, it's onerous, difficult and the bully needs
lots of recognition; when their target does the same job it's trivial, of little or no
value, not worth mentioning
- is ungrateful and rarely (if ever) says "thank you" or "well done"
(except, perhaps, if impressionable witnesses are present)
- is frequently sarcastic, especially in contexts where sarcasm is inappropriate and unprofessional
- is unable to assess the importance of events and tasks, often making an unnecessary fuss
over trivia whilst ignoring important or urgent things
- exhibits duplicity and hypocrisy, eg says one thing one day and denies it the next
- often has an overwhelming (and unhealthy) need to feel recognised and wanted
- is fastidious, often has an unhealthy obsession with cleanliness or orderliness
- is insincere and false
- has never learnt the skills of and has little concept of empathy; may use charm and
mimicry to compensate
- attempts at empathy are superficial, amateur, often inappropriate or inappropriately
high, and based on mimicry rather than genuine concern - and are for the purpose of making
the bully look and feel good, especially in front of witnesses
- when required to show empathy, eg someone is in distress or needs help, responds either
with impatience and aggression (if no-one else is present), or with a fulsome and effusive
attempt at empathy (if witnesses are present)
- is unwilling to apologise for mistakes, except occasionally when witnesses are present,
then the apology is fulsome, artificial, and inappropriate - but sufficiently convincing
for peers and superiors
- is quick to blame others
- is uncharacteristically fulsome and effusive, especially in front of witnesses - but
hollow and insincere
- is devious and manipulative (especially female bullies)
- is spiteful and vengeful (ditto)
- uses aggression almost exclusively but claims to be assertive (assertiveness is about
recognising and respecting the rights of oneself and others)
- has unpredictable mood swings, blows hot and cold, often suddenly and without warning
- is inconsistent in their judgement, often overruling, ignoring or denying what they said previously
- is inflexible and unable to evaluate options and alternatives
- is unforgiving and often seizes on and exploits others' mistakes or perceived mistakes
- is financially irresponsible and often has a bad credit rating
- has a cavalier attitude to Health and Safety
- is quick to anger and often has an unpredictable temper
- can be unpredictably and disarmingly pleasant, especially when you are unmasking them in
front others - this plays on people's sympathies and is a use of guilt for manipulation
and control
- is often humourless and emotionally flat; attempts at humour are often shallow and
superficial
- is insecure and sees others as a threat; the threat seems to comprise a fear of exposure
of inadequacy, and often borders on paranoia; the individual may have a
paranoid personality
- is uncommunicative and uncooperative, and is evasive when asked for information (eg by
subordinates)
- for communication, often relies excessively or exclusively on memos, emails, yellow
stickies, or third parties and other strategies for avoiding face-to-face contact
- has no listening skills, ignores and overrules you; it can be like talking to a brick wall
- displays inappropriate and hostile body language
- makes inappropriate eye contact, either too little (or none at all) or too much (staring)
- often reported as having an evil stare, sometimes with eyes that appear black rather
than coloured
- is unable to sustain a mature adult conversation (you may only realise this in retrospect)
- sees people as objects (in the same way that child sex abusers and rapists see their
targets as objects for their gratification)
- often displays interpersonal behavior that is ill-advised, especially with a sexual
overtone, eg invasion of intimate zone, gestures or comments which include inappropriate
sexual references or innuendo, being inappropriately intimate with clients, being
too friendly too soon, etc
- is incapable of intimacy
- lacks a conscience and shows no remorse
- displays excessive and rigid adherence to procedures, rules, regulations etc, usually as
a cover for lack of creativity; their work is largely bureaucratic in nature and obedience
of orders from above is a priority
- finds ritual important and comforting, and frequently indulges in ritual and ritualistic activity
- often forms or joins lots of committees to look busy and important but never achieves
anything of significance or value
- when called upon to exercise judgement, relies on and insists on rigid adherence to
procedures and rules (this is an abdication of responsibility and an admission of
inability to manage)
- gains gratification from bullying people by imposing rules, regulations, laws etc and
insisting on adherence thereto, regardless of their relevance or efficacy
- often exhibits a psychopathic personality, the main features of which are:
- an unwillingness to conform to the rules of society: thinks that rules, regulations,
procedures and the law do not apply to them - but insists that others adhere rigidly
- an inability to tolerate minor frustrations
- a tendency to act impulsively, recklessly and randomly
- an inability to form stable relationships (the bully's private life is usually a mess)
- an inability or unwillingness to learn from past experience, however unpleasant - this
"learning blindness" is a key feature of the serial bully and differentiates the
serial bully from the unwitting bully; this inability to learn seems to be concentrated in
the area of interpersonal, social, communication and behavioural skills; closer inspection
suggests that the bully does learn from experience, but only how be more secretive and how
to be more skilled at evading accountability
Other adjectives to describe the serial bully include cunning, conniving, scheming,
calculating, cruel, sadistic, ruthless, treacherous, premeditated, exploitative,
pernicious, malevolent, obnoxious, opportunist, unconcerned, etc.
The lack of interpersonal, social, and empathic skills are reminiscent of autism; the
serial bully relies almost entirely on rules, procedures, aggression, denial and mimicry
to hide their lack of people skills. Psychopaths and sociopaths are often excellent actors and mimics.
Most people with this profile are incompetent at their job and the bullying is intended
to hide this incompetence. However, a few recent cases suggest that some serial bullies
(especially the quiet ones):
- are good at carrying out rule-based or procedurally-oriented jobs which require no free
thinking or imagination; these people fall down when required to step outside this role,
eg dealing with people
- (especially males) excel in one area of work (usually scientific in nature) and may be
regarded as the leading authority in their field but are lacking in almost every other
respect, especially in interpersonal skills (this is reminiscent of savant syndrome); they
also tend to be physically aggressive and may have a reputation for sexual harassment
3) Personal qualities that bullies find
irresistible
Targets of bullying usually have these qualities:
- popularity (this stimulates jealousy in the less-than-popular bully)
- competence (this stimulates envy in the less-than-competent bully)
- intelligence and intellect
- honesty and integrity (which bullies despise)
- you're trustworthy, trusting, conscientious, loyal and dependable
- a well-developed integrity which you're unwilling to compromise
- you're always willing to go that extra mile and expect others to do the
same
- successful, tenacious, determined, courageous, having fortitude
- a sense of humour, including displays of quick-wittedness
- imaginative, creative, innovative
- idealistic, optimistic, always working for improvement and betterment of
self, family, the employer, and the world
- ability to master new skills
- ability to think long term and to see the bigger picture
- sensitivity (this is a constellation of values to be cherished including
empathy, concern for others, respect, tolerance etc)
- slow to anger
- helpful, always willing to share knowledge and experience
- giving and selfless
- difficulty saying no
- diligent, industrious
- tolerant
- strong sense of honour
- irrepressible, wanting to tackle and correct injustice wherever you see it
- an inability to value oneself whilst attributing greater importance and validity to
other people's opinions of oneself (eg through tests, exams, appraisals, manager's
feedback, etc)
- low propensity to violence (ie you prefer to resolve conflict through dialogue rather
than through violence or legal action)
- a strong forgiving streak (which the bully exploits
and manipulates to dissuade you from taking grievance and legal action)
- a desire to always think well of others
- being incorruptible, having high moral standards which you are unwilling to compromise
- being unwilling to lower standards
- a strong well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise
or abandon
- high expectations of those in authority and a dislike of incompetent people in positions
of power who abuse power
- a tendency to self-deprecation, indecisiveness, deference and approval seeking
- low assertiveness
- a need to feel valued
- quick to apologise when accused, even if not guilty (this is a useful technique for
defusing an aggressive customer or potential road rage incident)
- perfectionism
- higher-than-average levels of dependency, naivety and guilt
- a strong sense of fair play and a desire to always be reasonable
- high coping skills under stress, especially when the injury to health becomes apparent
- a tendency to internalise anger rather than express it
The typical sequence of events is:
- the target is selected using the criteria above, then bullied for months, perhaps years
- eventually, the target asserts their right not to be bullied, perhaps by filing a
complaint with personnel
- personnel interview the bully, who uses their Jekyll and Hyde nature, compulsive lying,
and charm to tell the opposite story (charm has a motive - deception)
- it's one word against another with no witnesses and no evidence, so personnel take the
word of the senior employee - serial bullies excel at deception and evasion of
accountability
- the personnel department are hoodwinked by the bully into getting rid of the target -
serial bullies are adept at encouraging conflict between people who might otherwise pool
negative information about them
- once the target is gone, there's a period of between 2-14 days, then a new target is
selected and the process starts again (bullying is an obsessive compulsive behaviour and
serial bullies seem unable to survive without a target on to whom they can project their
inadequacy and incompetence whilst blaming them for the bully's own failings)
- even if the employer realises that they might have sided with the wrong person in the
past, they are unlikely to admit that because to do so may incur liability
- if legal action is taken, employers go to increasingly greater lengths to keep targets
quiet, usually by offering a small out-of-court settlement with a comprehensive gagging
clause
- employers are often more frightened of the bully than the target and will
go to enormous lengths to avoid having to deal with bully (promotion for the
bully is the most common outcome)